From: bullyingproject.com
We’ve all lived with bullies. I think we just began to accept them as part of life. But something changed. It really got out of hand. Too many kids are finding unhealthy escapes from bullies. They are making national headlines and causing their families to mourn. It’s time we stopped accepting bullying as a part of life and started teaching our kids how to get along.
Why do Kids Bully in the First Place?
Are bullies born to be mean and cruel? Are they jerks that will never grow up and be the ones in prison and on the national news? You’d be surprised if you could truly look into the heart of bully.
Okay, yes, there are some bullies that are just mean and will always be mean. We’ve known them our whole lives, but most of the time that is not the case. Bullies are generally just big babies on the inside who are trying to hide from the world. There are many times reasons behind the bullying that never get addressed and fester. Let me give you an example.
I knew a kid in school who always picked on me. He was mean. I mean he was hateful. He pulled my hair, poked me with a pencil lead, and said bad things about me. Now, I’ve known worse bullies. When his mother died of cancer, I grudgingly sent him a sympathy card. What would he say mean to me now? Of all the thousands of cards his family received three were addressed to him. I discovered that all that mean stuff was him hiding the fear and sorrow of watching his mother die of that horrible disease. He was a little boy in a big boy’s world and was scared. Did he change after that? Only with me. I saw the real him and we became fast friends.
Bullying becomes a way to hide behind a façade and to create an image that they assume is better accepted in society. What they don’t realize is the pain they are causing on those that receive their actions.
What Should We Do to Stop Bullying?
Too often we look to teach kids how to put up with bullying or report it. What are we doing? Yes, we should be teaching that but why aren’t we teaching kids that they need to stop bullying. Go to the source. Stop the bullies.
1. Make it a Priority
Don’t just discuss bullying during a national campaign or after the fact. These are life lessons. Treating people with respect should be something taught every day. Let children that bullying is never acceptable and you will be watching for it every minute of every day.
2. Start with Your Own Children
No matter how much we love our kids, we have to admit that they aren’t perfect. Little Johnny is not the ideal child. Think about. Were you the perfect child? I know I wasn’t. I could be mean to a kid every now and then. So can yours. If you have more than one child, trust me they each can tell you how mean the other one can be.
In other words, your child could be the bully. That means you have to stop bullying by starting with your own children.
3. Kindness is Important – Be an Example
Kids learn from adults. Most of the time they learn from us though television and other media outlets don’t help. But if they don’t see that bullying is wrong from us, how else will they know.
How do you act to strangers in a grocery line? How do you act when someone accidently bumps you? How do you act while driving a car and someone cuts you off? We do a lot of things in life that aren’t great examples. Show your kids that kindness is important and why.
4. Teach Respect
Most of us find people of other backgrounds around us quite a bit. I work with people who are of a different religion, are handicap, come from different ethnic backgrounds, and talk differently due to accents and regional dialects. We have to respect all those and that does not always happen with kids. A lot of bullying stems from differences found in children.
One way you can do this is expose your child to others that different. If you can do this early in life, these differences won’t mean much to your child. My son has been around his handicap uncle all his life. I caught him once in a peer pressure moment where he made fun of a student with learning disabilities. I wanted to scream but I calming asked him would he have said that to his uncle. He was shocked. I said that calling that other child names was the same as saying it to his uncle. He never did it again. It became real and personal. Respect is that. Kids will mess up and we have to show them how to relate it to their life. It makes a big difference.
Summary
Bullying can’t be stopped until we start at home and being an example. It has to be a priority at all times and important to us. I don’t want my kids bullied. I don’t want my kids to be the bully. Let’s stop it where it starts – at home!
